New Blog: http://ivanfarsider.blog124.fc2.com/

won't be using xanga for some time

This has been lurking in my mind for some time now:
How can my UK friends be so drastically different from my old friends in HK?
Have I changed that much?
Do I now like people I would not have thought of hanging out with before?
Or is it because they are the only people I can make friends with at Malvern?
I really should spend some time alone and try knowing people outside my circle.

Why am I asking these questions?
Perhaps I'm too tired from loving someone I would dislike otherwise.
I can't sleep with all these thoughts springing up from the dark.

I don't know why I love you.
Take away that love then you're just an ordinary girl,
a lazy girl,
a stupid idiot who doesn't know what's good for herself,
who laughs away her days having 'fun'.

You're cute, but you're not the only cute person I know.
And you're hardly 'attractive' in the ordinary sense of the word.
I feel happy when you're close.
When you share your thoughts with me, for an instant, my worries are all gone.
If that is love, I wish I can know what it is I see in you.

I want to draw but I'm not good at it.
I want to write you a song,
but you deserve nothing less than a masterpiece.
Sometimes I hope my feelings are just an illusion,
that I would wake from it in the morning.
I guess I could live with it for another 4 months,
after that our paths may not cross again.

They always say love comes and goes,
what's meant to be is meant to be.
But am I missing something if I let you go?
Will I regret it if I just let it out?

But wait,
it's not fair to tell you how I feel, not to you and not to me.
How can it be so easy to forget ...... yes, I really have changed.
I should not be chasing ghosts.